Marriage Sanity

I want everyone to understand that I love my hubby John with everything I have and want everyone to feel free to do so (Maybe not with John, find your own partner).

When we talk about Marriage we need to be very specific on what we mean. There are two types of marriage,

1) Holy Marriage: The recognition of a union in the eyes of a religious community like the one John and I had in 1995 at the First U.U. Church of Reading (We have the honor of being the first male couple married there.)

2) Civil Marriage: The recognition of the government of a union in the eyes of the legal and greater society outside of religious institutions. We had ours at the U.U. Church of Provincetown in 2004.

Stated clearly as it can be you should be able to have a Civil Marriage simply by being a member of your country. In the United States of America we say "all men are created equal" and thus all people gay/ straight or otherwise should be able to marry.

Things become slightly murkier with Holy Marriage, but If your religion allows it, marry who you want, however if the dogma of your faith teaches you that you can only marry the Opposite gender then that's what you have. Now you can actually have a Civil Marriage if you want but it can't be recognized by your faith.

There you have it. stated as simply as possible. There is no right to deny LGBTQ people a Civil Marriage ever, we have protections in our constitution against that, and if your religion allows it have a Holy Marriage as well.

But don't you fucking DARE to tell me I can't get legally/Civically Married just because you or your faith says so. By doing that all you do is spread ignorance and hatred. 

Updates and traumas.

I'm sorry I haven't written in so long but I have been going through a lot of physical and emotional crap. As you know I had a "Non-Cerebral" stroke that fucked up my left side only weeks after having a minor heart attack. Well about 6 weeks after the stroke I threw some blood clots and Killed off a major portion of my spleen.
My day to day physical strength seems to wax and wane for unknown reasons but is most definitely on the decline. My left hand is all but a claw most of the time and I'm starting to have tendon pain when I stretch it out. Add to that the fact that my doctor has put me on a diet I cannot stick to, not because of cravings but because I have no kitchen in order to prepare my own food. We eat out all the time.
My emotional and spiritual life is just as bad I'm always on the verge of tears feel like there is no hope most of the time but I know that's bullshit intellectually so I keep plowing on.
I am now on Social Security (SSI) and Medicaid so at least my meds and doctors appointments are covered. But I just had to basically throw myself to the floor to get out of the bath tub. I honestly hate this and if it wasn't for those I love and the grief they would have if I were to die, I would have killed myself by now.

Like I said originally, this is my truth.

Bariatric surgery

Well I made the leap and contacted Jefferson University Hospital and set up a Bariatric Consultation for April 9th at 8 am. I'm already looking at diets and how to eat before and after surgery. I think I'm going to start eating right in preparation for the possible surgery. This is going to suck but I feel it's needed when 3 of my doctors agree that it will keep me alive.

Well I have started a new way of life. Low sodium diet (2000mg) is hard as fuck. Plus I made an appointment with Jefferson University Hospital Bariatric consultants. I have to lose this weight and fast. I have the will power of a flea with ADHD, so I'm hoping this works, I think with the last few months and all the bullshit I've been through physically I'll be able to do it.

Well it was coming like a freight train at me...

My heart condition Atrial Ahrrythmia is getting out of control. For years Doctors have been telling me to lose weight or get severe physical health problems and bang here they are. There are only 2 choices for me neither is preferable. The one I didn't choose is to just stay in Ahrrythmia and take more meds hoping they keep me stable (already told the chances of winning the lottery is better. The choice I DID decide on is to try the cardiac shock again and start on a drug that has far better success at keeping people in normal sinus rhythem but after 4 years has some terrible side effects like thyroid, lung, and liver disease. The doctor swears that I'll be monitored and the first sign of trouble they will stop the drug.

Now with both options comes the dreaded mandatory diet. I am advised to get barriatric surgery and informed the doctor that Unitedhealthcare will not cover any type of weight loss surgery. I can only hope that John does get the new job as the benefits package is supposedly first rate.

Fuck Me!

I'm back in the hospital! My heart started revving up and I couldn't breath. The doctors say I'll either be released tomorrow or they will shock me back into normal rhythem, well have to see.

Sorry to be away.

Goddess the past few months have been awful. Minor heart attack followed 2 weeks later by a "non-cerebral" stroke that has left my left side not so good and then a month and a half later I get a blood clot in my spleen and it has now died off, but they can't remove it due to all the blood thinners I'm on.
Of course all of this is overshadowed by my anxiety over applying for Disability. I'm not sleeping and overeating from the stress.

But enough with the bad. I'm getting involved with the Radical Faeries in Philly and love the group so very much. Heart Circles are a magical thing.

John is up for a job change to another station and I hope he gets it. He hates his boss so much.