The "Dear Penthouse, you're never gonna believe this" post.

As a gay man it sometimes happens that out of the blue there will be offers to do the 'nasty'. Many times these opportunities are strange and or down right freaky. These are not in order and I have left out any names to protect the (very very) guilty.

1) I was walking down the street here in Philly, John and I had just moved in maybe 3 months ago, and a black guy I had never seen before pulls up next to me in this beaten up hoopty of a car and calls me over to his car. I like a good Samaritan oblige and he says to me with his smile that could make Ray Charles wince.... "Hey are you the new gay guy?" I said yes as I had no reason not to be truthful. He then starts rubbing his admittedly ample crotch and asked me for a blowjob. I looked at him like either he or I had just lost our minds and said. "Even if I wanted to,  that was the lamest pick up line in the world. Fuck off before I start yelling about how you want a guy to blow you!" Needless to say he left in a hurry.

2) We were living in Reading and it was Christmas time. There was a new postman picking up packages and he must have seen John and I at the house a time or two and then began asking the neighbors questions about us. I of course had no idea this was going on until one day this kind of cute stocky mailman comes to our door and introduces himself. He makes a joke about seeing our gay pride flag and then says he's been watching me and wants to "have some fun" He then gets down on his knees in the freaking vestibule and tries to blow me where the neighbors can see. Needless to say I stopped that.

3) Working at the porn stores makes you an easy target. I can't even remember all the guys (and a few women/or were they)  who tried to pick me up. Most never stood a chance even if I had met them away from the store.

4) Working at the Ren Faire also seems to bring out the experimentation in guys. I used to have a rainbow flag on my readings sign and it was supposed to let LGBT people know I was safe to go to with personal questions but it also made me a target for horny guys. There was this one guy, really cute but married with a ton of kids who asked for a reading and while I was holding his hands (I read while in physical contact most of the time) he started doing the finger stroke on my palm. he then whispered he wanted a more private reading. As I was single at the time he got one, in my tent with the faire going on around us. I was a huge slut back then. The SCA has this effect as well.

There have been many others but these were the ones that stick out except for the hot bear why sucked me off in the middle of the faire with my cloak wrapped around us. I looked to all the world like I was just standing bundled in my thick cloak but his feel were hidden by some shelves covered in pottery.