Why I hate the holidays.

The reason is all the cookies and cakes and other goodies people give us. I have a bad sweet tooth and we have no real pantry or such to keep food safe from bugs and such so I tend to eat whatever is available. I know it's a sad excuse but John tends to hoard things and they go bad.
Well I tell John that if he wants some of what's here he should take it upstairs to his computer room where I never go so I won't eat it. He brought home a bunch of cookies and left them on my bed so I assumed they were mine to eat, 4 days later after I have eaten most of it he asks where it all is and I said i thought it was mine to eat and he gets all pissed off.
I tell him  EVERY SINGLE TIME that if he wants some to take it out of my room but he didn't and now he's pissed at me.

2| Jethro Tull - Ring Out Solstice Bells (TOTP 9-12-1976)

A Blessed Yule and Winter Solstice to all I love. With the reawakening of the sun may we all prosper and evolve into our next wondrous stage of being.
The light has never left us but some times needs to remind us that we have strength that we can only see when we are in the dark.

Love and Lightning,

Joe

A Special Message to my LGBT Family and Friends.

Dear Family,
We have had a huge breakthrough with the ending of DADT here in the states and we have a lot of things to be thankful for. It's actually starting to seem like we may not be second class citizens too much longer. We have a long way to go however in American and in the world to make intolerance towards all people end.
The "Religious Right" in our country is shaking their sabers and calling for an end to the DADT repeal already and even there is talk of heightened violence against us. Please remember that we are the better people, we have the innate capacity to love across gender lines and with that comes the compassion and insight to love beyond the walls placed in our way.
I believe in peace and love being the only way to face hatred and fear head on and that's what we need to do now. Get out of your closets and comfortable 'invisible' lives and talk to people from different religions and opinions. We are a strong people because we COME FROM these groups and have survived their scorn and ignorance, lets use this strength of will and love to help them come to terms with the fact that we don't want to harm them or their way of life. you see that's what they are being led to believe, that we are a threat to them and the fact that we live among them yet they don't actually get to know us makes them all the more worried.
It's time for love-ins at religious centers. We need to come together in peace in-order to help them evolve to the new paradigm, the new world of thought and acceptance that is the only way we as a species, gay or straight will survive into the next millennium.

Love and Lightning,
Joseph Leven

A special Message to God's "Gentle Loving People".

Dear Religious people who hate LGBT people,
I understand that you feel your way of life is threatened and the "traditions" of intolerance you so cherish make it hard for you to accept that MY people are becoming accepted over your strong protestations but please allow your bigotry to die with a bit of grace.
It's bad enough that you fear and hate us for no REAL reason, but this campaign against us has brought you and your people nothing but ridicule and has make you the pawns of powers that want to subjugate us all.

I pray you are aware that this is all coming from a place of love for you and all people when I say these things. While I an not Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or any other sect that allows hatred as a virtue I understand how you all must feel. I'm sure the Neanderthals must have felt something similar when our Cro-Magnon ancestors came along. The LGBT people have been persecuted long enough. We have nothing against you except for what you have done and continue to do to us as a message of your "faith".

Please realize that if your faith comes from anything outside yourselves such as the teachings of a book or the teachings of your elders than it's not worth the paper it may or may not be written on. NOTHING is immune to the manipulation of people who want to subjugate others. It's a proven FACT that the "bible" has been rewritten many many times as has the Koran and the Talmud even many of the Heathen and Pagan faiths are guilty of this, Each rewriting has been done to bend the messages in the direction of the people telling the story. It's a simple game of "whisper down the lane" gone horribly wrong.
The only true faiths left are ones based on universal love and compassion. We all understand that the world would be a better place without war, disease, and poverty yet it's these teachings that divide humanity that create all of these abuses against humanity.

I implore you to see the wisdom in what I say. Those who are calling for the deaths of ANYONE let alone the LGBT people are fundamentally anti-life and anti-love.

Love and Lightning,
Joseph Leven

Pictures of John and me.

Charity begins at home.

I've been reading all over the web (Facebook IS the entire web right?) about how with the economy crashing down around our ears there are people starving and without shelter. So very many have lost everything they own and more are being added to that list every day while our richest are having record profits off our very meat and bones.
Has it occurred to those who are sitting in their warm homes that maybe they do have some power left to help those less fortunate?
I say we start creating micro-communities within cities. Small apartment buildings that are going to pot can be brought up to code and then we start living in them. Restructured they can have communal gardens and people could dedicate themselves to policing and protecting their communities. They could try to live as independently from the main city as they can while still being a part of the city.
All I'm saying really is we need to redefine community and rededicate ourselves to building and maintaining those communities. I know it sounds a bit Mad Max but it could work if all the "micro-coms" worked off the same concepts and principles.

We also (in my opinion) need to establish a new way to live amongst each other and communicate with each other more readily. New rules that work for our diverse cultures and create equality for everyone and actually mean it. We need to also put limits on religions. Everyone is entitled to his or her faith but there should NEVER be a time that a person of one faith uses their faith to power over someone of another faiths choices.
The sooner people come to that conclusion the better.

Why do I do this to myself?

John and I went to Longwood Gardens yesterday. We were to meet up with a small group of "bears" from the D.C. area and thankfully they were a fun group of people. The gang met up a bit later than we had planned and John was on a time constraint. He wanted to catch the last Pipe Organ sing-a-long at 4PM so he went there and I waited for the rest of the guys. Once everyone was there we went off but I had to meet John so we parted ways without getting a phone number to hook back up when the show was finished. I was so pissed that I forgot such an important aspect that it started a progressive anger wave inside me. I have always had anger issues because of the abuse I got from other kids and my inability to deal with others on an equal level. So once John got out of his program I was already in a foul mood. We decided to use Facebook to try to communicate with the others and eventually found them in the middle of the "Christmas Path".
Longwood Gardens was nice if not really my cup-of-tea. I hate crowds with a blinding passion so I was honestly miserable when forced to walk the "Christmas Path". I feel bad because John couldn't really enjoy himself from my constant complaining and I just couldn't contain myself. Asinine adults and bratty kids make me want to murder, so I try to avoid crowds during the holidays. I just absorb too much negative energy that gets past my defenses and I'm like a bomb that never goes off.  Thankfully we eventually met up with the gang just in time to leave.
We went back to the one couples apartment in Delaware and had a nice time chatting and eat the best home made chili and pulled pork sandwiches I ever tasted. John and I ended the night tired as hell but having had a good time.

I'm not the only one who feels this way.

FUCK THE RICH!

 Seriously. Fuck them right in the ear. Now I know you're all saying "But Joe, Not all rich people are evil. Not all of them want to crush the world under their foot and force the survivors into slavery". But fuck them anyway. Greed has become the true Satan of this world. Ignorance and blind greed are destroying the only world we have.
It seems the only way to stop them is to mount some kind of global protest. A day where we all just stop working and see what happens to the world when the true power, the people who are being subjugated, take a stand.

I truly hate the holidays and winter in general.

I have clinical depression. I've had it all my life although I was only diagnosed a few years ago. when the world gets cold and the holidays come around it gets really bad, that's the reason I've not been posting. I'm just so sad that I don't want to burden others with it.

Know that I love you all and I'm fine, not going to hurt myself or anything stupid. I hope to be better in a month or so once the holidays are done.