Back home from a wonderful Vacation.

I'm sorry I've been away, my intent was to post every day of vacation but I just couldn't get myself to do it. It felt wrong to be on the web when I had the most beautiful landscape and seascape to look at.
We arrived at Provincetown, MA on Saturday with enough time to actually unpack with the sun still up. Unfortunately Saturday night is when my left ankle decided that it was on vacation as well and kept going out on me. So I hobbled around as best I could and we ended up seeing Miss Richfield (A drag queen) doing her bingo show. It was great even though I was dead tired and almost fell asleep before hand.
Sunday we went to Church at the incredibly impressive Universalist Church in P-town as is one of our traditions. and went grocery shopping (Yeah we're a lot like a normal family). Monday it was very very windy and they wouldn't take the boats out for whale watching so we did that on Tuesday. It was OK but not our best trip out. By Wednesday I was starting to feel bad and noticed some cellulitis developing on my right ankle so seeing as there is no medical care on the cape itself we just hoped for the best and I treated myself as best I could. On Thursday We began packing up because we decided to take the last few day and drive up to John's family in Maine to look at land for sale, we want to move to Maine for John's retirement.
I got to meet John's cousin Mike's Girlfriend Willa and his cousin Mahlia. Both wonderful people.
So the cellulitis was getting bad I was getting dizzy a lot and sweating like a faucet by Sunday for out 10 1/2 hour trip home. Thankfully I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. That assumes I can make it as walking on this foot is amazingly painful.

Vacation: the day before we leave.

John and I take two vacations a year. one in February (Daytona Beach) and one in September (Provincetown). We leave tomorrow for Massachusetts as early as we can get the dogs dropped off at the kennel. I'll be posting all sorts of pictures and updates. I even hope to break in the new video camera during our yearly whale watching tour. 

Inspiration Monday 9/13/2010

“And I shall shed my light over darkest evil, for the dark things cannot stand the light, the light of the Green Lantern” – Alan Scott the original Green Lantern

Welcome to Inspiration Monday. Let’s discuss how we are seen by others today. I have always tried to shine like a beacon with what I am. Whether it’s being gay, or mystical, or just a happy loving being I have tried to never hide my light “under a bushel”.

We live in a world right now where there is great duality, wonderful good walking hand in hand with terrible evil and yet we have whole organizations that instead of helping to cure the terrible aspects of our world have only designs to make things worse. How can people live with themselves in their sanctimonious positions that they must have what they want, no matter the cost to everyone else in the world.

The only way to combat this brand of evil is to show it for what it is, to prove that they are the evil that they claim not to be. I ask you to shine today. I ask you to stand up for the love that you have for everyone and our beleaguered planet. Shine like the crazy diamonds that I know you all are.

I ask you also one last thing, we see the Tea Party having marches to protest all sorts of nonsense but why have we not had a counter protest? Why have we not taken to the streets to thank the government for what they have done and are doing to make our lives better? President Obama is doing his best to correct all sorts of injustices heaped on our people and not getting the credit he deserves I for one that him for everything he has done, is doing and will accomplish in the days ahead.

It's about mutual respect.

I wonder if people of religion realize that as an American citizen in America I have every right to ignore any and all religious tenants. I can go into a temple and eat a bacon cheeseburger, I can draw pictures of Mohammad on paper in a Mosque, I can do many things, but as a good person I don't do these things. It's called respecting my fellow man and I'm tired of not getting the same respect.

As a gay man I get the shitty end of the stick from my government, from many religions and from the ignorant from many walks of life, and yet I try to always live up to the ways of peace and love that many Religious people swear they are living and yet tell me I'm evil and going to hell. I'm really getting to the point where if I continue to be disrespected I may snap.

I don't want a world where everyone is the same, that's stagnation, but I do want a world where people have learned not to hate one another. Do they really think that their god wants them to behave so anti-life?

Master Numerology Number 11

Your Numerology Profile

Your Life Path Number represents the path you should take through life and the talents and skills you have to make your journey a rewarding one. 

In Numerology the Number 11 represents the "Spiritual Messenger." Those carrying an 11 in their chart are in some way, or possibly every way, on a journey of spiritual enlightenment meant to bring divine insights to us all. 

Having the Master Number 11 as your Life Path makes you an inspiration to others. Your high energy and enthusiasm is both contagious and magnetic. You are on a journey of spiritual exploration and those around you await the answers you find.

Positive Traits

Intuitive, Sensitive, Bright, Visionary, Spiritual, Uplifting, Creative, Inspirational, Optimistic

Negative Traits

NONE

Associations

Tarot: Justice
Astrology: Sagittarius, Aquarius, Uranus, Neptune, Mercury
Rune: Tiwaz
I Ching: #63 Chi Chi
Tree of Life: 
Hebrew Letter: Kaph
Shamanism: Hummingbird 
Element: Air 
Alchemy: Air and Diamonds 
Aura: Blue and White 
Colors: Ruby Red, Violet, Iridescence, Silver 
Gemstones Topaz
Crystals: Mother of Pearl
Month: November 
Week Day: Sunday
Lucky Numbers: 29, 38, 47, 56, 65, 74, 83, 92, 101
Flora: Lilly

How Reiki saved my life and has me walking today.

Back in 2000 John's "father" (the reason for the quotes is that he was not much of one) passed away. My history with the man was the 7 years I knew him was the longest 3 decades of my life. Anyway...
I had just started a new Job and already I had to take off for the funeral of a man I honestly hated. While John and I were cleaning out his home I started to have back pain, nothing new to me as I have a very bad back, then I started getting fevers and cold symptoms, and chalked it up to being the dead of winter and I had caught a cold or a flu.
As time passed the symptoms got worse and I started missing work as I couldn't sit up straight or walk very well. The fevers were getting worse and I was getting concerned. I started going to a chiropractor by the name of Dr. Payne (I should have known from the name). Payne was worried something more was wrong with me then just a simple slipped disc and wanted me to get an MRI but I had no insurance and was honestly scared as I was loosing the ability to use my left leg. Yeah, I said it. I was loosing my ability to use my left leg, it was locked in a sitting position and I couldn't get it to relax. Now any SANE person would have gone to the ER but I've always been a head-in-the-sand kind of guy when it comes to my health and didn't want to go. John for what it's worth didn't want to force me to do anything I didn't want to do and, like a moron, didn't insist I go.

3 months had passed by the time I got a ride to the Doctors office and when they saw me the doctor honestly thought i was going to die on his exam table. My blood pressure was 80/40 and I was literally ash grey. The admitted me immediately and ran a battery of tests. It seems I had a massive infection in my blood stream. They couldn't tell me how it got there but one of the ways made some sense to me. A pimple.

Yes a pimple nearly killed me. It had developed on my lower back just under my belt and was terribly painful, refusing to pop and then one day it was gone and I assumed it had popped on it's own. It must have popped into my flesh and festered there. Now while I still thought I had a strained back a friend of ours who was a massage student had attempted to do a procedure on me the "opens up your spine and relieves pressure on your discs" the infection was given access to my spinal cord and I entered a world of hurt.

So there I am in the hospital receiving mega dosages of antibiotics and feeling foolish that I almost died. The doctors had told me I was 6 to 8 hours from my body giving out from the massive infection. They took me into surgery two days after I was admitted because they had to get me to a point where I could survive the procedure and the doctor said "Mr. Leven I don't want to give you false hope, Most likely you will need a walker or some other form of assistance to walk again. The chance of you walking again on your own is slim" and even in my drugged out state I remember telling him I would do a Jig for him in a few weeks. He didn't smile or anything.

It was going to be weeks in the hospital with tubes in an open incision in my back draining out the infection (I actually popped when they made it and a nurse passed out) and i was unable to get out of bed without assistance but I just couldn't use a bed pan, so I decided that I would practice my Reiki on myself. Hours at a time I channeled and it seemed to take on a life of it's own, The energy just flowed even when I wasn't concentrating on it you could even feel it in the room around me. My nurses would come in on their breaks and ask if it was OK to sit and relax, they all said there was this energy I was giving off that made them feel rested and peaceful I told them what I was doing and a few of them knew of Reiki and the others became believers. I started to heal at a rate that was way above normal and my strength came back very quick as well. I was able to get out of bed and walk with a walker within days of my procedure but only for short periods of time. after two weeks I saw my doctor in the hall and he seemed alarmed I was up and walking without a nurse along with me for support and I pushed the walker to one side and started shuffling my feet, he asked me what I was doing and I said "This is the best Jig I have ever been able to do." He started laughing and the nurses all seemed to be astounded he was doing it.

By the end of the 3 weeks I was in the Reading Hospital I had a grown strong enough to walk on my own but needed physical therapy as i was still really unsteady and needed the walker so they sent me to rehab. While there I continued the Reiki on myself and the nurses all remarked how peaceful my room seemed. As before I explained the Reiki and I continued to prove I was healing very fast. I was released from the rehab almost 2 weeks earlier than they estimated i would and walking on my own with no assistance needed. It was another few months at home with a pic line ( a semipermanent IV tube in my arm leading directly into my heart) and twice daily antibiotic injections but I'm fine now except for a weakened immune system and a foot long scar up my back.
The doctors gave me a chance of dieing on the table with a 80% chance of either not walking at all or at minimum needing a walker and here I am. I blame it on the Reiki and the love of my husband.

Waking to a coming Dawn.

I originally posted to my LJ account back in 2007. I really like it so I'm posting it here.

Waking to a coming dawn.

            I woke up yesterday. Really woke up. I understand that I was dreaming this whole time and now that I'm awake the images and experiences in my dream state make sense. I am not admonishing myself for being a dreamer, more the opposite, I'm thanking the dreamer and honoring the dream. 

I have dreamed I was a person of power only to wake up and see it was truth.

I have dreamed I was loved and woken to find it true.

I have dreamed of light and love and found I am a source of these gifts.

I have dreamed my path was an easy one, it is not the truth but the effort is worth the pain.

I dreamed that I was above the need for sex, but that is a dream that is anathema to life.

I had dreamed that what I did to my body was of no consequence as my focus was to be on my fellow man only to find that I must care for myself as much as I care for others. If I don't honor myself on all levels that I am denying my own self worth.

I have found that just dreaming is never enough. My actions must be a reflection of my dreams for the world.

Now that my eyes are open to the true light of day I know that the universe has a plan. I see the underlying connections and consequences of my actions and inaction. I see the light of the universe returning to our world, exposing the dark things the night allowed to usurp our potential and our truths.

I am Joe Leven.

And I woke up yesterday.

S.A.D.D. aka Spiritual Attention Deficit Disorder.

I’m at a strange place right now. I, like many spiritualists, am approaching a huge leap in my soul’s journey. Connections are flying fast and furious and I’m taking these connections as the gifts they are, however they compete with one another for my attention.  One of my greatest downfalls is a sort of Spiritual Attention Deficit Disorder (Now to be called SADD); I get so excited over new experiences and concepts that I forget the things I’m already working on. I have to remain focused on the things that are most important to me and retain my center; it’s very hard for this bear.

2 things are important to me at the moment:

1) Creating an Intentional Community: John and I want to be able to retire to a home surrounded by those we love and where there’s magic in the air. Finding people who want to be a part of this is proving to be hard as many people don’t want to live in Maine, but the open spaces and natural beauty are compelling reasons to start a faerie community up there.

2) Keep reaching for the Light and understanding the presence of recurring themes in my life. The connection of Egyptian energies and the style of Reiki I was taught, the constant draw toward ceremonial magic and the need to seek the meaning of certain beings in my life. I believe that like the Angel Raziel showed Adam, there is a path to oneness and I am on this path. 

A wonderful Lecture on a possible pre-civilization to the Egyptians and Sumerian.n

Joe's rant to the democrats.

I really need to apologize if i offend anyone. I get worked up at injustice and I'm getting very upset that I'm considered such a second class citizen. If my words and sailor's mouth hurt anyone's feelings I'm sorry.

Internalized occupational bigotry and bias, or Why can't we stop judging each other?

Yesterday I was chatting with a very nice man from Great Briton and he mentioned he was on Lunch break. I naturally asked him what he did for a living and all of a sudden the conversation (ie typing) stopped. A few minutes later he stated he was a gardener/janitor for the local city hall. I said that was cool and he seemed to think at first that I was humoring him. I assured him I wasn't and he admitted he gets a lot of grief for his profession, especially from other gays. I was kind of ashamed that he had to put up with that kind of garbage, With all the abuse we get hit with from outside 'our people' we really shouldn't be doing it to each other.

Stereotyping and automatic assumptions are nothing new to any of us. We all had our detractors who see what we are or do as some how less that 'standard', I worked for many years in fast food and honestly liked doing it. I got satisfaction working with the food and making people happy in a very direct way. I was known for my biscuits at Roy Rogers, I would say a prayer to Hestia while making the dough and people said they were the best any of the had ever tasted. I love being a Mage.
Of course it gets worse when you look at the other jobs I have had, I worked as a clerk in a Porn store, sold auto parts, file clerk, customer service for Bell Atlantic and for TLA video, but the hardest to get people to accept as a legitimate job was Tarot card reader.
I have never felt comfortable in a normal 9 to 5 job. They are just not my thing, I hate being in crowds so big offices suck to me and punching a clock makes no sense to me as I like to work long hours when I really like what I do. The thing is what I like to do is what I'm called to do, I'm a healer. I am honestly compelled to help people become healthy spiritually and mentally as well as physically. But i didn't become a physician or psychiatrist as that's not what i was called to do. I became who I am, a spiritual healer, a shaman. Among my spiritually inclined friends and community That's a great thing but to the Gay and outside worlds it's looked down upon as quackery.
What I do is just as important to my clients as what a doctor or dentist or janitor or clerk and to look down on me or anyone for what they do for a living is poor people skills at the very least. and ignorant at the most.

We are on the cusp of great things for the LGBT community, equal rights and world wide acceptance are within sight but how much will it be worth if we can't be accepting of one another? The ageism, body image issues, it's all nonsense that needs to end so we can put up a united front.
So go out today and let your fellow man know you love and accept them for who they are and what they do.